In this new series called, “Ask Me Anything”, I’m answering specific questions from women in our community while also using it as an opportunity to highlight our incredible listeners.
In this episode, I’m addressing one of the most commonly discussed challenges among our audience; imposter syndrome. I share my experience with it, how I move through it, and the confidence hack I use to show up confidently every day (even if it feels hard).
Featured Expert: Tonya Herb
Connect with Tonya on Facebook: @tonya.herb
Want your question featured on the podcast? Submit your question to [email protected].
We are currently enrolling for our June class of Launch Like A Queen! But space is limited. To be considered for this experience, begin the application process: kinseymachos.com/launchqueen
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Do not miss these highlights:
00:55 I’m launching a new podcast episode series around “Ask me anything.”
01:12 I will be creating content that aligns with my people's goals, desires, and challenges. It will be all about what they want to hear versus what I want to talk about.
01:51 I am allowing things to be more fluid than rigid in my business approach this time.
02:39 In this episode, I will be welcoming and showcasing the question from Tonya Herb.
02:56 The first time Tonya and I met was when another client brought her as a guest to the Category Queen Live Event in Texas in the fall of 2022 last year, and she became a client after that event.
03:40 We talk about sharing our own experiences because we had a similar story in deciding to walk away from the corporate and what that looked and felt like.
04:05 Tonya is now a full-time coach and it's been so fun to watch her crushing it!
04:16 Watching Tonya really lean into her brilliance and change the lives of other corporate leaders is just so amazing.
05:05 So Tonya asked, “How do you silence imposter syndrome and show up competent and authentic in your own authority?”
05:27 I share my own struggles with impostor syndrome in my past corporate career.
07:00 One of the things that really shifted for me was when I was having a conversation with a woman in that company at the time who was about twenty years older than me.
07:45 I was able to see that imposter syndrome isn't something that is unique to me. It is something we should all move through.
08:15 Anytime I realized that everybody experiences this and continues to experience it, it just softens the feeling.
09:28 I will remind myself that I’m not my thoughts and I can be separated from that.
09:55 When I think about silencing the imposter syndrome, I think that I should not be suppressing it.
10:12 Normalizing it, softening it, and moving forward with that instead. This is another element of showing up confidently, with authenticity, and owning your authority.
10:42 There's still this innate question that always comes up, “can I really help this person?”
11:02 I see this as a good thing and I never want that feeling to go away. I never want to not think about helping my clients.
11:15 It keeps me humbled, it keeps my purpose at the forefront. It keeps mealways on my feet.
11:57 When we shift into that feeling of joy and that energy of service, it allows us to feel just so excited about our expertise, and that energy is palpable.
12:22 So owning your authority is just you deciding it.
12:56 You get to define with regards to how you want to define it, you are an expert of you.
13:28 When it comes to this, for me it really is a conscious decision every single day.
13:58 Some days it feels harder. So I pay attention to my cycle because that emotion impacts what I lean on now.
14:42 Live out all of those experiences, all those moments, knowing that it is just a part of the process.
15:42 Even if some days you feel less confident, show up in your full brilliance and just go and just do it.
16:05 Tonya Herb’s info will be included here in the show notes so please go connect with her.
About the Host
Kinsey Machos, a Marketing Strategist, is also a recovering people pleaser, self-sabotager, and corporate hustler. She helps entrepreneurs create and execute magnetic marketing and build expert brands so that they can get known, seen, and heard online.
She believes that creating a business that’s 100% in alignment with SELF is one of the most important things that we can do as women — because there’s an inner magic that we all have if we commit to an infinite pursuit of discovering (and re-discovering) that.
As a wife and a mom of three, the family takes priority. And having a business that’s run AROUND her lifestyle is a daily intention of hers.
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Welcome to Captivate and Close. I'm Kinsey Machos, business consultant and marketing strategist. And I'm going to show you how to attract and enroll high paying clients using my break through online marketing strategies, all without having to rely on complicated funnels, disingenuous clickbait, or spammy sales tactics. These are the messaging marketing and selling secrets that virtually no one is talking about. So let's dive in. What's up happy Thursday, my friends, well, it's probably not Thursday, at the time that you're listening to this, maybe it is, it is definitely Thursday here and I'm feeling so alive. And I'm excited to launch this new podcast episode series around ask me anything. I just had this really intense download around this idea and really wanting to serve you in a more specific way. I feel like I'm pretty good at creating content that aligns with your goals, your desires, your challenges, and really thinking about what you want to hear versus what I want to talk about. But I thought it would be fun to really engage you all a little bit more, and just be really specific around some of the questions that you have. And so the other day I posted in our free community, I said, I want to showcase you. And also asked me a question. And so we're running this series, I don't know, if there will be an end date, maybe it's an infinite thing, I am not going to put any sort of rules around it, I'm kind of allowing a lot of things in my life and my business to be a little bit more fluid than say rigid. And this is one of those things. And so for the time being if you want me to showcase you so if you ask a question that I feel like I feel would be helpful and or that I want to talk about, I will choose your question, I will highlight you. And I will include your social media handle and who you are here and answer your question. And so it's kind of a win-win. I want to bring more visibility to you and your business. And also, I want to speak more directly to the very specific questions and concerns and challenges that you guys are having. So I'm excited to do this. And today's first question that came through was from Tonya Herb, who is actually a client of ours, which is super fun. And she is a leadership coach. So Tonya has just blown all of our minds. To be honest, we met her the first time we met her was when another client had brought her as a guest to our category Queen live event in Texas in fall of twenty twenty-two last year, and she became a client after that event. And I remember sitting down and having a conversation with her at one of our cocktail, little parties in the evening. And she was in a position in her career, her corporate career that she really wanted to leave. And she had this desire to help people and to be a coach and a mentor for other people. But she felt very stuck. She didn't really know how to move forward because of that fear. And we talked about it and mostly from just sharing my own experience because I had a similar story and sharing how I made that decision to walk away and what that looked like and what that felt like. And this was in October of twenty twenty-two. And then she announced to our client group a couple of months ago that she had finally made the decision to walk away and she had her last day. So she is a full-time coach. And it's been so fun to watch her crush it. She also spoke on stage a couple months ago, we'll probably about a month ago. Oh my gosh, all the days are blending together and just watching her really lean into her brilliance and change the lives of other corporate leaders is just been so amazing. So I'm going to include her handle here in the show notes so you can go check her out and connect with her if you wouldn't mind just sending her a message and and saying hi and connecting. If there's anything that I really want to encourage and foster it's more collaborative relationships and more connections. This is something that really served me so well in the beginning of my business and continues to serve me well as we grow to new levels and being able to have those relationships who rely on and lean on because it can feel A little isolated sometimes. And so this is a really good opportunity to create a new friend. All right. So Tonya asks, How do you silence imposter syndrome and show up competent, authentic and own your authority? This is a really good question, because I think we all battle with impostor syndrome. And that, for one has been the biggest game changer for me. I struggled so much with impostor syndrome. In my corporate career, I grew really fast in leadership. And so I was oftentimes at the table with other leaders that were like, twenty-plus years older than me, which means they had so much more experience, they had so much more knowledge, I felt so green, I was also a very young woman, just figuring my shit out, right? new mom, new wife, I was just like, literally learning life. And, and so to see the confidence and expertise, that, like around me it in then default feeling was like, I'm not good enough. Like, why am I even here, I always believed it was a fluke, because I was really good at creating connections. And I was really good at taking on challenges that probably I shouldn't have taken. But I was just, you know, your typical overachiever, I can do it, I'm going to show them. And so I was always probably taking on more than I could. But there is no doubt that I would literally lay awake many, many nights with a very sort of strong sense of anxiety around like, one day, they're going to figure me out, I'm going to be exposed as this fraud. And I'm going to get fired. It was a very, very deep seated fear. But one of the things that really shifted for me it was when I was having a conversation with a woman in that company at the time, who was probably about twenty years older than me, and she had expressed and I just remember looking up to this woman, so much, and she had told me that she also had similar feelings of impostor syndrome, and like fear and like saying the wrong thing, and sitting around the table and not feeling good enough. And I just was like, Oh, my gosh, like, this is really insane. Because I'm seeing this woman, I'm like, You're so smart. Like, I wish I could be you like, How could you even feel that way. But it was a good reminder. And to really see that this isn't something that is unique to you, it is something that we all move through. And so it becomes we normalized that feeling, and not really settled or softened it quite a bit. And anytime I experience it now, because I still experience it, it never goes away at any level. In fact, right now, I'm in a very intense sort of transition of, of new fears, new insecurities. And, but anytime I realized, like, everybody experiences this and continues to experience it, it just softens the feeling. And so really normalizing it, and realizing that it's just a thought, okay, and so first, we get to normalize it, and know that people are going through it. And then what I do is I really start to bring more awareness to the thoughts that I'm thinking that are creating more of those feelings around fear or insecurity, or who's going to figure me out, and it's exactly those things, right? It's sort of like, if you are thinking, I am not good enough,Kinsey Machos:
the feeling will be lack, and the action will be probably nothing, or it will be an action taken from lack. And so it will create a perpetual cycle of thinking, that does not align with the type of results you want to create for yourself, because the actions that you take are going to just perpetuate the fear or the imposter syndrome. And so when I kind of pause and really understand and unpack the thoughts that I'm having, in those moments, I realized that I am not my thoughts. And so I can separate from that. And I can change the direction of how I want to think, feel and behave instead. And even if it feels right, the body literally feels scared. I know that I can move through that and really allow myself to move towards what I desire instead. And so that's a little bit more of a woo answer. When we think about like silencing the imposter syndrome. I think we Really not suppressing it or like, feeling like you have to resist it, but more of noticing it, becoming aware of it and then shifting, I think the resistance can also create more of that perpetual cycle, normalizing it, right, softening it and then moving forward with that instead. And so when we think about that, and then this other element of showing up confidently and authentically and owning your authority, this is something that I still struggle with. And I do feel most days really confident about my skill, but there are still days that I don't. And one of the things that you'll notice is every time you get a new client, there's still that innate question that comes up of like, Can I really help this person, and most people think that that's bad, and it creates a lot of, again, maybe anxiety or a little bit of unsettled feelings, and it can create sort of this like panic or frazzled type of energy. But I see it as good. I never want that feeling to go away, I never want to not think about helping my clients. And I think it's a good thing. If you are wondering, Can I really help these people, it keeps you humbled, it keeps you and your purpose at the forefront. And it really keeps you on your feet. And so really even shifting the meaning behind that. And we think about even that feeling of can I really help this people? Or am I really the authority in my space? To? Yes, I am. And also I will do whatever it takes to make sure that more people are helped that more people are aware of me so that more people can end suffering, and experience joy in their life, whether you're in health coaching, leadership, coaching, you know, business coaching, it doesn't matter. What you create for people is joy, in some sense. And so when I really shift into that feeling of joy, and that energy of service, it allows me to feel just so excited about my expertise. And that energy is palpable, right, whether you're writing content, you're showing up live, you're doing a launch event, you're coaching clients, when you just come with that highest energy of I can help you, it's so good. And so owning your authority is really just you decide to, and what I find most people do is they wait for validation. And it's like, if this than that, right, if once my audience is bigger than I'll be an authority, or once I have the media icons, then people will take me seriously, or once I'm making seven figures, then I'll be an expert, but you are the only person that can determine whether you're an expert or not. And you get to define that, in regards to how you want to define it, you are an expert in you. And really considering how many days and hours you have lived as a human in your own life that nobody else has lived. And so really knowing that most of what you know, and most of what you experienced, is unique to you. And so whatever you do share it, you just never know who will resonate with it. And so when it comes to this for myself, it really is a conscious decision every single day, I don't like indirectly just show up confidently, and just living in rainbows and writing you horns. And so I'm consciously not unconsciously, like consciously making a decision every day to really step into my power, step into my brilliance, and bring more of that to the market. Some days, it feels harder. And if you don't pay attention to how your cycle impacts this, it's like lean in now. Because inevitably, I have a week or two out of every single month that I just know, I'm gonna feel less confident, less sure, less clear. And it's all hormone related. And so even that alone, I can see it again, you're not your hormones, you're not your thoughts. You're not even your feelings. And when you separate that and you just kind of allow yourself to move through that life experience. You will really, really fully enjoy. Maybe not every moment, right? But you will live out all of those experiences, all those moments, knowing that it is just a part of the process. And so I definitely pay attention to my cycle and how that impacts how I'm feeling and notice those thoughts and those feelings that are coming Up in those moments, again, not resisting them or suppressing them, but just letting them process but then going back to what my non-negotiables are for my business and knowing that if I don't do what I committed to doing, then I, I will not grow, I personally won't grow, my business will grow, and the people that I'm meant to help, will not get helped. So, I hope that was helpful. I think that broadly, right? When we think about this idea of imposter syndrome and and owning your own authority, it's really just normalizing that, like, everybody feels this way. But ultimately, every day, every day, you have to make a conscious decision to just decide to be that confident version of yourself. Even if some days you feel less confident, show up in your full brilliance and just go just do it. Just do it. And we don't have to make everything this big meaning or this big event. Sometimes you're just moving through your list doing what you committed to do, and we don't need to make a lot of meaning around it either. Alright, Tonya, I hope that was helpful for you. And again, you guys go connect with Tonya, I'll leave her info in the show notes here. And it was, this is so fun. I hope that was helpful. If you guys wouldn't mind just screenshot this episode, if it resonated with you and you feel like other people could really use this message today. I would love it. If you screenshot it, share on stories tag me. And it's so fun to see all of you that are listening, right until next time. Hey, you, thank you so much for listening. It's an honor to be able to pour into the hearts and minds of like-minded entrepreneurs all over the world. But my most favorite part is being able to connect with you in real life. If you love what you heard here, head over to the community where thousands of female CEOs, just like you are changing the world one human at a time. We go deeper into the topics you discuss here and give away tangible roadmaps to help you crush your revenue goals to join this high caliber free community head over to kinseymachos.com/community. I’ll see you there